So, I had a personal experience on the subway a few days ago that left me unsettled about something, and left me with many questions. When should strangers clarify, challenge, or confront racist comments? Always? Never? ![ABCD station](https://examiningracism.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/abcd-station.jpg?w=640)
I ran into a couple from Montana who were wide-eyed and lost in the 125th ABCD station. I assured them they’d be able to get to Penn Station on the A train and started making small talk with them. They asked where they had just been, as in which neighborhood was in/around the 125th stop. As far as I know they had just been in the station (went way too far uptown by accident) which to me looks pretty much like most subway stations.
I told them the 125th St. station was in Harlem. The woman almost gasped, turned to her husband and said “so, how was the cultural experience for you?” They were both nervously laughing, and then proceeded to say “We’re from out of town, can you tell?” I continued to have a polite conversation with them and helped them make sure they knew where they were going. I really wanted to know how much was loaded in the “cultural experience” question. I wanted to clarify, to open a dialog. I didn’t. They were speaking fairly loudly on a train that was not at all empty and I guess because of these factors, my impulse was not to confront it or ask “what do you mean by that?” in this particular situation. But why? What was the worst that could have happened?
My guess is that this couple had very little exposure in Montana to anyone other than White people. It could have been to the woman an innocent joke or an attempt at humor that was obviously backed by anxiety and fearfulness. Next time I encounter a situation like this, I want to challenge myself a little bit more in maybe asking the questions that would lead to opening a dialog.